vanroyan&holt (vanroyanandholt) wrote,

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single?, oh hello

Well well. Today I was planning on going out and getting myself a brand new journal. Thank god I stumbled upon this little website. It will save some trees hopefully.

I'm starting this not because I think it will become popular or  because I think people will actually consider reading this crap. I need this journal to sort of let everything out. Because I cant let it out anywhere else since most people cant be trusted with everything. Yes you have your  friends, who you can tell everything to, but you just never know how they feel about all that on the inside. Maybe they think you`re an idiot and are just being nice to you because of your social status. Its silly at times not to trust everyone, but can they actually be trusted? I guess they can, but not in this case. This time, this will be a secret for as long as I can hold it in of course.  What exactly am I holding in? My feelings, of course.  Not just any feelings, but my feelings for him. "Another guy crazy girl!" , you say, but I'm not. I promise.  Ive been trying to convince myself that, no, you don't like him! Not at all, he is not right for you and you should take those thoughts of him and throw them right out the window. I wish I could. That would be so much easier than actually dealing with it.  I wouldn't even mind it, if he felt the same way.  " Well you never know my dear, maybe he does secretly like you also!", you might insist. But don't try that. This time, I'm 100% sure its not the case.  So why does it always happen to me? Someone I care about does not care back. Am I ugly and not attractive? Thats not the case either my friends. I'm well liked by the opposite sex. By some handsome men, handsome men who I'm not emotionally attached to. I always go for the not sexy guy. The one who doesn't really have anything to offer. Why? Oh well you see, they are nice to me, I like them for who they are. Not for their looks, body or brain. Thats the five minute summary of my love life. My personal life. Does it interest you and make you wanna know more? Nope? I didn't think so. If  I were someone else I wouldn't read it either.

I forgive you for never wanting to return to this page. Its alright. I shall deal with it on my own, like I always do.
Best wishes.<3

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